


Monster

by Drowninginfandomgarbage



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (it was buried in my deepest darkest folder of google docs), :(((, :))), Angst, One Shot, Some trigger warnings, d e a th, dont read if you arent comfortable reading about death, idk i just felt like posting this one shot i found, self deprecation, very much death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 23:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drowninginfandomgarbage/pseuds/Drowninginfandomgarbage
Summary: Virgil was tired.ORi was boredim sorryplease forgive me





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> tw: death,, suicide, pills, kind of graphic (but badly written) mentions of self deprecation, if you dont feel comfortable reading this type of thing please dont
> 
> um...
> 
> i found this in my docs and i felt like posting something??
> 
> so here
> 
> im sorry in advance

 

 

Virgil was tired.

 

Tired of the way everyone treated him like a **monster** , tired of how they all looked down at him, pitied him, rather than try to understand

what he was going through. He never wanted to be the bad guy. He just wanted to protect Thomas, because he cared about him just as

much, maybe more, than the others.

 

But they didn’t understand that.

 

They thought that he was dangerous, that he could hurt Thomas. In reality, if he, or any of them hurt Thomas, it would be just as painful as

hurting themselves. So he would never do that. At least intentionally.

 

But yesterday, he had. He had pushed Tho **m** as **o** ne step too far, and gotten him hurt in the process. He saw the look i **n** the others’ eye **s**

when i **t** happened. It wasn’t ang **e** r. It wasn’t disappointment, or sadness, or even fea **r**. Within their gaze, he saw acceptance. They had

accepted that he truly was a **monster** , that he could never do anything right, that his sole purpose was to hurt them.

 

And he was starting to believe it himself.

 

Virgil didn’t deserve to be a part of Thomas. After the incident, he locked hi **m** self in his room and cried. He didn’t **o** pen the door whe **n**

they knocked. He didn’t open the door when Logan came, a **s** king how they could help. He didn’ **t** open the door wh **e** n **R** oman called,

suggesting they all watch Disney **m** ovies t **o** gether a **n** d forget about what happened. He didn’t open the door when Patton made cookie **s**

and **t** heir tantalizing sc **e** nt got to him from unde **r** the door. No, he didn’t open the door for any of them. He just sat on his bed and cried,

thinking about himself like the  **monster** that he is. He didn’t deserve Thomas. He didn’t deserve any of them.

 

Searching through his drawers, he found exactly what he was looking for: the expired bottle of anxiety pills the others had gotten for

hi **m** a couple of years ago when he had a horrible panic attack. It was ir **o** nic, really, anxiety pills for Anxiety himself. But they did work

for all the time he used them… u **n** til he didn’t. One day, Thoma **s** had been really anxious about something, and Virgil didn’ **t** do anything

to stop it. H **e** just let himself g **r** ow inside him, and he liked this feeling. Which was yet another reason he considered himself a **monster**.

Who in their right mind would like people to feel something they didn’t want? A **monster** would. And nobody wanted a **monster**.

 

As he emptied the bottle into his hand, he thought, for a moment, what Thomas would be like without him. He’d be better off without me,

Virgil thinks, and the rest of the Sides would be happier too.

 

**Mo** rality would probably say that he misses me (a lie.)

Logic would be thi **n** king of all the way **s** I had helped them (none).

Roman would just be upse **t** there would b **e** nobody to throw insults at anymo **r** e (he’ll forget.)

 

And after a while, they would all forget how miserable they had been when Virgil was around. Because Virgil was a **monster**.

And nobody wanted a **monster**.

 

Taking a deep breath, he looks down at the pills cupped in his hands. Raises them up to his mouth. And swallows.

 

Virgil was tired.

 

And he was finally going to get a good night’s rest.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i didnt exist for the longest time
> 
> i am a procrastinator at heart
> 
> dont sue me
> 
> im sorry
> 
> love y'all


End file.
